When are kids old enough to have a smartphone?

I’m deeply grateful for my smartphone-free childhood. I remember when a middle school friend received their first iPhone. My friends and I were in awe at the responsive touchscreen, app games, and agile texting. How could you not be jealous of this technological miracle in his pocket? 

My parents gave me a simple phone when I was around 15, but I didn’t get a smartphone until I was 17. I wouldn’t change that experience. With no neighborhood kids to play with in our isolated suburb, I still thrived in church, playing in the woods, getting lost in books, and hanging out with my siblings. 

This is why I’m so passionate about this topic. I wonder how different, and worse, my teen years would have been without this independence, freedom, and real-world socializing. 

I’ve written extensively about social media and teen mental health. According to Pew Research, 95 percent of teens report having, or having access to, a smartphone. Nearly half of teens say they are online “almost constantly.” Only a quarter of teens said this a decade ago. Most of this time is spent on social media like TikTok, SnapChat, YouTube, and Instagram. 

Last year, the US Surgeon General wanted to put warning labels, like the ones on alcohol and cigarettes, on social media, specifically cautioning children and teens. Australia announced it would ban social media for users under 16 this week. Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation is a great place to start for parents and educators. 

As I wrote, even kids wish they didn’t have social media: “It seems that around half of teens would prefer a world without social media but feel trapped because they would be socially outcast without it.”

What about even younger than teens? By the age of eleven, over half (53%) of kids have a smartphone. Twelve is the average time when kids receive a phone, but some have reported getting one as early as 4 years old. 

There’s a high bar to establish definitive causality between social media and mental health issues, but study after study tends toward this direction.

Some studies focus on the effects of smartphones in classrooms. Even college students did better when their phones were physically removed during class: “Results indicated that students whose smartphones were physically removed during class had higher levels of course comprehension, lower levels of anxiety, and higher levels of mindfulness than the control group.” If this is the effect for college-age kids, how much greater is the impact for younger kids? 

Younger than twelve: Depression, obesity, and bad sleep

A new study shows a connection between smartphone ownership in kids under twelve and health risks. With data from more than 10,000 children, the study’s findings were robust, though not surprising. 

They conclude, “Smartphone ownership was associated with depression, obesity, and insufficient sleep in early adolescence. Findings provide critical and timely insights that should inform caregivers regarding adolescent smartphone use and, ideally, the development of public policy that protects youth.”

Dr. Barzilay, lead author on the study, talked to the NY Times: “The takeaway, [Dr. Barzilay] said, is that age matters. ‘A kid at age 12 is very, very different than a kid at age 16,’ he said. ‘It’s not like an adult at age 42 versus 46.’”

The years from 10 to 25 are crucial for psychological development, particularly in establishing a sense of self, developing social skills, and achieving independence. This study isn’t saying that twelve is a good time to get a smartphone, but rather pointing to how the risks associated with that decision only increase the younger a child is. 

Another expert, Dr. Jacqueline Nesi, cautioned, it is difficult to prove that phones are causing these risks. However, she says this study should “nudge” parents to wait for longer than they would’ve first thought, and to make sure the deciding factor isn’t just what everyone else is doing. 

As the article goes on to decsribe, parents should “feel empowered to trust their gut . . . and to hold off on giving their child a smartphone until everyone is ready—including parents, who have to do the very hard work of putting protections and limits in place.”

If you’re interested in ways to get involved, as well as what some of those protections and limits might look like, check out the Anxious Generation website. Here are the four core tenets Dr. Haidt argues for: 

1. No smartphones before high school
2. No social media before 16
3. Phone-free schools, from bell to bell
4. More independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world

The site offers other resources to get parents, schools, kids, and policymakers engaged.

What does the Bible say about parenting smartphones? 

God does not control us like a puppeteer, but as a good father, he disciplines his people. He is compassionate, loving, caring, and lays down clear guidance. We are good parents insofar as we emulate God’s character in these ways. 

Proverbs says we should discipline children so they aren’t spoiled—and that this is done from love (Proverbs 13:24). Several passages talk about respecting and obeying parents. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). 

But it’s a two-way street. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Or, as it says in Colossians, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (3:21). 

How can we emulate God’s parental love? 

• Give clear guidance. 
• Keep firm to boundaries. 
• Give independence when they earn trust. 
• Set them up to handle screens when they leave your house. 

As God says to Isaiah, “come now, let us reason together.” (Isaiah 1:18) Give reasons, when possible, for your decision. Listen to your children as God listens to us. 

Earthly parents are flawed. We can never be 100 percent certain about tricky issues like phone use, where studies are sometimes confusing or contradictory. We can only do our best. 

But we can pray for wisdom, grow in character, and take our responsibility as parents seriously—don’t be passive. The voices on social media will almost always draw them away from Christ. Silicon Valley does not have your children’s best interests at heart.

Examine your own heart. Do you idolize your phone and the quasi-social connections on social media? What does your screentime say about your heart? How can you model better habits for your children? 

If you’ve never asked God these questions—or if it’s been a while since you last did—let’s start there. After all, your heavenly Father loves your kids and wants what’s best for them just as much as you do. Be sure to include him in the conversation.